Why My Leadership Doesn’t Look Like Yours (and That’s the Point)
I think beyond trends. I design for longevity, for what will survive the complex collapse of what we think life is supposed to be as more systems fail each day. Which always makes me think of Saturn and Aquarius placements. One of my favorite misconceptions about having prominent fixed or Aquarius placements is that we’re cold, aloof, alien-like, or incapable of sane connection. I would argue the opposite. Most of us are so aware of the complexity and nuance of life that we appear logical because we are already processing so much emotionally. We’re here to move information, build systems, and innovate from the data we carry, experience, and facilitate.
One of the ways I express this is through shared governance, containment, and creating regenerative workflows. I know… riveting. Walk with me here. Not cold or boring. Detached, yes, but deeply invested in everyone having what they need, how they need it. Shared governance was my first real path out of 9–5, top-down leadership. I was invited to run my own program through a grant with my co-founder and over 80 partner organizations. I cannot explain the joy of facilitating spaces where people got their needs met, explored limits, learned old-school grassroots relationship skills, and messed up together. There were no secrets, power plays, or expectations beyond “be you.” We all fumbled. I asked my co-founder for permission too often. I shrank myself. I took accountability for projections that were not mine. And still, we always came back together: to process, to be mad, to celebrate, to apologize, to make meaning, and to play. Not just the two of us, sometimes the entire cohort. Our humanity wasn’t up for curated perfection or all-knowing (or cancel culture). We were in horizontal, real, irl relationships, doing our best and asking for equal participation from everyone involved.
When everyone gets a say, follows through, and treats one another with dignity, things flow even when they aren’t supposed to.
Did we lose funding because we were illegible to the system? Yes.
Did some people bow out? Mmmmhm.
Did my co-founder and I publicly mess up, name our ages, admit we didn’t have all the answers, and ask for help because we wanted new ways of working? Absolutely.
Did we find funding again? Sooner than we imagined.
Did we both go on to lead in the ways we wanted to see in the world? Yup.
Did people enter our programs with fixed ideas of who they were, then leave in alignment — sometimes opposite or in conflict with their original plans — because those ideas changed? And was it confusing to witness but also very exciting to witness facilitated transformation. Definitely.
Did my co-founder and I also shift into new roles that we couldn’t have predicted? Also yes.
That’s the thing: dignity is not the opposite of productivity. It’s what makes it sustainable.
I’ll admit it’s taken me a decade of daily practice to even be able to write this blog, promote myself, or show up with earned trust and confidence. Saturn rewards us when we commit to earning our respect, credibility, and authority in ways that are honest for us. I still don’t know who I’ll be at 50. I assume it will build from who I’m committed to becoming today. That’s why I rely on shared governance. It allows for constant movement, shared authority, shared accountability, and shared grief, joy, awe, and confusion. It allows life to be fully experienced together. We reflect, offer, and designate what we need to stay sane, stay connected, and keep moving.
Containment matters, too. The more each of us can prevent spilling unprocessed emotions onto one another without consent, the better. I said what I said. I learned my hardest lessons in love, work, and life through lack of containment. My own and others’ equally, ah yes the joys of being humans with nervous systems and reactions. lolll
That realization led me to focus on regenerative workflows. When we can work on our own terms, have control over our calendars, eating, sleeping, and creativity, we can actually flow and stay in harmony as a team. So the next time you’re working with an Aquarius nerd, savant, or introvert, be curious about what you don’t yet know about them and what they might learn from you. I promise that’s what our Aquarian minds are ruminating on, even when we pretend not to care. We do. Just in a detached, sovereign, observant way. Not objective, but subjective in our own unique way that doesn’t center validation or external permission. Think more: help me put this Legos build/puzzle together and tell me what you’re curious about over a shared challenge…. Less: tell me it’s okay to love what I love the way I love it or be who I am the only ways I know how to be in the world.
